Many ask about how a Christian looks at marriage and a sexual relationship. Is there a difference in how we look at scripture pertaining to sexual lust and society. There so many questions out there. Let’s see if we can explore these issues.
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Deuteronomy 22:21-24
21 she shall be brought to the door of her
father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has
done a disgraceful thing in ....Israel....
by being promiscuous while still in her father's house. You must purge the evil
from among you.
Exodus 22:16-17
16And if a man entice a maid that is not
betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.
17If her father utterly refuse to give her
unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.
Deuteronomy 22:13-21 (King James Version)
13If any man take a wife, and go in unto
her, and hate her,
14And give occasions of speech against her,
and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came
to her, I found her not a maid:
15Then shall the father of the damsel, and
her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the
elders of the city in the gate:
16And the damsel's father shall say unto
the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;
17And, lo, he hath given occasions of
speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are
the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before
the elders of the city.
18And the elders of that city shall take
that man and chastise him;
19And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels
of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought
up an evil name upon a virgin of ....Israel....: and she shall be his
wife; he may not put her away all his days.
20But if this thing be true, and the tokens
of virginity be not found for the damsel:
21Then they shall bring out the damsel to
the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with
stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in ....Israel...., to play the whore in
her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.
“Is it true the Bible doesn’t actually say you can’t have
sex before marriage? Is it just a rule made up by old prudes who think sex is
dirty and want to kill everyone else’s fun?”
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The Bible Study on SexDespite popular opinion the Bible has
plenty to say about sex before marriage. God laid down strict boundaries for
sex and marriage in a God honouring community. Here are two scriptures that
really LAY down the law…
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Read: Exodus 22:16-17....
Pre-marital sex had consequences in God’s law. It required
the couple to get married and the guy to pay a dowry or bride price for the
girl. Even if the man was unacceptable to the girl’s family he still had to
fork out the cash for taking their daughter’s virginity. I somehow think
there’d be a whole lot less teenage sex if young guys had to pay their
girlfriend’s Dad for the privilege and then get married straight after. Doesn’t
leave a lot of room for experimentation or playing the field, does it guys?! In
Biblical times young couples couldn’t afford to mess around. They got married,
honoring their parents and their God. Fooling around just wasn’t an option. You
aren’t got a ring, you don’t get a fling!
Don’t you think, With the economy the way it is. I think
that say a lot for us today
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Read: Deuteronomy
22:13-21....
This verse is hardcore, but demonstrates emphatically what a
big deal pre-marital sex was in God’s law. Virginity was assumed when a couple
married and if it wasn’t the case there could be huge consequences. Even
accusing a girl falsely of being a ho would result in a guy paying a huge fine
(seven oxen or 13 tons of grain) is quite a lot for a young guy.
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Q. What are some of the
costs today when young people sleep around?....
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God’s will on sex is clearly communicated throughout
Scripture. Even thinking about it is playing with fire. Jesus talked about sex
once, in Matthew 5: 28. He said even lusting after someone is the same as
having sex with them and you are an adulterer, even if you are not married. In
fact, He said it would be better to gouge your eyes out than allow them to lead
you into sexual sin.
God is asking us to keep not just our bodies clean, but our
hearts and minds clean as well, in fact our bodies are referred to as our heart
in the bible.
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Q. Did you know this is
how Jesus thinks about lust? How much room does this leave for porn, guys?....
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And that leads us to the real beauty of sex (and the real
problem of pre-marital sex). Sex is more than just a connection of bodies. It
is a connection of spirits [Malachi 2:15] and minds. Sex is an act of uniting
one person to another. From the very beginning sex was what made a couple “one
flesh” [Genesis 2:24, Mark 10:6-8, Ephesians 5:31]. In God’s eyes you are one.
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Sex; the ultimate fulfilment of the marriage bond, is just
as much a spiritual and emotional bond as it is physical. Imagine super-gluing
yourself to your partner… this is how God sees a couple who have connected
sexually. Imagine the damage when you rip yourself away from the other… what
damage will there be emotionally and spiritually too?
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Q. What kind of damage can
result when a sexual relationship falls apart?....
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Final Word…....
Marriage was a legal ceremony in biblical times. But
marriage was the only socially and biblically acceptable environment for a
sexual relationship. Social conditions are not the same today as they were in
Old Testament ....Israel....,
but God’s heart for purity and His demand for righteousness will never change.
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The weight of scripture is clear on God’s will for us to
live in purity. To argue for a loophole on pre-marital sex is an unashamed
attempt to live outside of that purity..
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The fifth Commandment says we must honour our father and
mother, how honoured do you think your parents feel by you? The ninth
Commandment says we should not lie, but how many of us are faithful to always
speak truth? A lies a lie no how big or small.
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The real question here is not ‘how much can I get away with
sexually’, but ‘how much can I honour God and my future husband or wife?’ In
your heart of hearts do you really think there is any doubt as to God’s will on
sex and marriage?
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Thankfully our God is a merciful and gracious God who
forgives us when we make mistakes, so there is grace and hope for us all. If
you have not kept yourself sexually pure, there is restoration and a new start
for you in Christ. In the immortal words of our Saviour “…I do not condemn you,
go then and sin no more” (See Matthew 8:11).
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Sex was God’s wonderful invention and He wants us to enjoy
it. He wants us to enjoy it in the relationship He ordained for it; the
exclusive and enduring relationship of marriage. Keep yourself pure, for His
honour, your honour and self-respect, and the honour and pleasure of your
future spouse.
Here are a few more Scriptures
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… to prayerfully reflect on. As you read, ask the Spirit:
What are you saying in this verse? How does this reveal Your will or Your
character? What does this mean for my life?
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1 Corinthians 7:1-2....
Q. What is the solution
for sexual immorality in this verse?....
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1 Corinthians 7:8-9....
Q. What should single
people do if they are burning with lust?....
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1 Thessalonians 4:2-5....
Q. What does this verse mean
for your sex life? What does it have to say about what you do when the lights
are off?....
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Hebrews 13:4....
Q. What does it mean to
keep the marriage bed pure?....
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1 Timothy 5:2....
Q. Would you really hook
up with your brother or sister? How could this verse influence how you relate
to your boyfriend or girlfriend?....
1 Corinthians 7
1Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote
unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let
every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
Sex sins in Paul’s time were as prevalent and rampant as
in today’s lust mad societies. People tried to make evil good and turn men from
God with fornication, swapping mates and shacking up in a sex mad rush to burn
in hell-fire.
ISA 5:20 Woe to them that call evil good and good evil;
that put darkness for light and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet
and sweet for bitter! Man-devils change the six godly points of holiness into
satanic evil.
Matthew 5:28
28But I say unto you, That whosoever
looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already
in his heart.
Can be have sex with the opposite sex without marriage
1 Corinthians 7
1Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote
unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let
every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20
18Flee fornication. Every sin that a man
doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against
his own body.
19What? know ye not that your body is the
temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not
your own?
20For ye are bought with a price: therefore
glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
What should single people do if they are burning with lust?....
1 Corinthians 7:8-9
8I say therefore to the unmarried and
widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.
9But if they cannot contain, let them
marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
What does this verse mean for your sex life? What does it have to say about what you do when the lights are off?....
1 Thessalonians 4:2-5
2For ye know what commandments we gave you
by the Lord Jesus.
3For this is the will of God, even your
sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:
4That every one of you should know how to
possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;
5Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as
the Gentiles which know not God:
